Teach Me to Number My Days

God, You have been my dwelling place for my entire life.

Before man was formed, even before day became day and night became night,
Before the earth, the stars and all that is
Even from forever to forever
You are God.


And I am consumed with Your fierce love and care for me and for that I worship You.

You have seen all my faults – even the ones I harbor secretly and try to hide from You.

All of my days are passed in Your love and care and
I will finish my years in the span of a breath.

The days of my life maybe 70 or 80 years, and if I am strong enough, maybe more.
Yet those years only give to me more labor, more burdens and more sorrow.
And the years pass quickly
And quite suddenly I am gone from this earth.

Who really knows the power of Your love? For as I worship You, so is Your love.

So, teach me, O precious Lord, to number my days and not squander them, that I may grow a heart of wisdom, compassion and love.

Psalm 90: 1-2 & 7-12, as interpreted by Sabina after the NKJV.


kook or prophet?

The other day I had a strange experience with a customer on the phone. I was speaking to a man who was complaining about how he had been treated by a contract-employee. Halfway through his complaint he stopped and directed a comment toward me. He said – sort of out of the blue – “man’s search for meaning” and then continued complaining again. A very short while later he said it again “man’s search for meaning” only this time he went off on a tangent about how people are always searching for happiness. At first I thought this was the usual rambler – the kind of person who gets completely off topic and has to be gently lead back to the subject at hand.

A few minutes later and back on track he started complaining again – and then he stopped again and repeated himself – “man’s search for meaning.” Then he asked if I was happy. Immediately my guard went up and I locked the door and pulled the curtains of my soul. I tried to get him back on topic but this time he would not be swayed. He persisted in talking about mankind’s eternal search for the meaning of life; he asked a few personal questions, which, having already checked out of the hotel, I gave him some very generic answers.

While he was running on about the search for life’s meaning, I was trying to decide if this man was a kook or a prophet. God works through all kinds of folks, even kooky ones and if there was a message here then I hoped I was listening.

He repeated the phrase again and said it was a book and that I should read it. No matter how hard I tried to get him back on topic, he kept talking about this book I should read. I finally agreed to take a look at it when I went to the library. After that he was willing to close the complaint conversation.

Just before the man hung the phone up he said, “Do you know why I know this about you?” (About my struggle to find meaning in my life, which I never admitted to but felt he might be right.) I said no. He said, “Because I’m psychic.” I just said, “Oh.” What could I say? I was as dumbfounded as if he’d said ‘I’m the Queen of England’. He reminded me of the book (again) and then hung up the phone.

He never left his name or his phone number.

I’ve got the book on hold at the library. Turns out its’ a recount of a man’s struggle to survive the Holocaust during WWII. If that doesn’t give me some real perspective, then nothing can.

So, is he psychic? Or is he a prophet of God? Or is he just a man who was moved by a Spiritual Force to impart some words of wisdom for me? Or is he just a kook?

I may never know.

Addendum a few days later – I’ve picked up the book. After reading a few snippets here and there, I’m thinking, not kook. Definitely not kook.

In the beginning…

In the beginning was Jesus and Jesus was with God and Jesus was God.

Jesus was in the beginning with God.

All things were created through Jesus and without Him nothing was created.

In Jesus is Life and that Life is the Light of men.

And the Light shines in the darkness and those living in the darkness do not understand it.

John 1. 1-5 as interpreted by Sabina from the NKJV

God is real – for me – He’s a real and present force that’s been in my life since I was a young child. I can remember feeling His Presence as early as 5 or 6 years old.

But Jesus is another matter.

Jesus has been for me a Savior, a God, a sidekick to God and Someone to be remembered at least twice a year (Christmas & Easter). But He’s never been a day-to-day Companion in the way that I feel God is with me. Same goes for the Holy Spirit. I believe in Them both separately and as being a part of God but I don’t actively pursue or pray to Them individually.

But according to scripture – if you believe that sort of thing – Jesus was there in the beginning with God as He created the world and all that lies within it.

Yet God separated that aspect of Himself to become Jesus.

It’s certainly a mystery that not only is beyond human comprehension (at least my human comprehension) but must be accepted on faith.

So, am I right in seeking God alone? Do I include Jesus in my prayers? Or, when I pray to God I am praying to Jesus as well?

When I think of the Light of my life, I think of God, not Jesus. Or, because They are One in the Same (along with the Holy Spirit), I am thinking of All Three.

Hmmm, too much for my brain to figure out. I’ll just have to go on faith.