I am bereft –
Google says it’s an archaic term meaning “deprived of or missing something, usually non-material something”
It wasn’t until yesterday when I was able to identify the feeling – for days now I have been growing more downcast, more tired – tired to the point of exhaustion.
And today I realized I am bereft of the joy of living – not that I want to die – at least not yet, anyway – I am bereft of the joy of living everyday –
My days are mundane, dull, void of brightness.
I tell myself it is only exhaustion—
That I am tired –
I am overdue for a vacation and all be well after next week – I will have a week of freedom from the harness of work –
But I wonder, what happens if I am still feeling this way after my week off?
What if rest does me no good?
I know I am blessed – abundantly so –some folks never get time off but go from job to job with no break or vacation.
God has blessed me with much even though I’ve done nothing to deserve it.
It is through His grace and strength I get up each morning and go to work – even when I don’t feel like it or even want to.
But for now—
All I can write is –
I am bereft—
The above was written before my much needed break of the last few weeks.
Who, then is this priest? And who is that teacher?
They are the ministers that I believed the Lord gave me.
One preacher planted the seeds my faith, another watered it with teachings,
But it was God that grew my faith with love.
Each minister in my life has taught me according to his or her skills and understanding of God and each one will receive their reward in the afterlife.
We are all together teachers and ministers to others who believe.
Thankfully, with God’s good grace, I have had a good foundation of faith laid in me (flawed though it may have been) and different truths have been built upon it.
But the one true foundation is one laid in God.
And if I build anything else upon it, that is, the worship of things, money, people – anything – other than God
Then the day will come when I will be tested as if through a great fire and what I have built – what I believe in will burn away if it is the not Truth firmly rooted in the foundation of God.
After the fire of trials and trouble, what remains is my Truth, my Faith, my Love for God – if my foundation is built solidly in Him.
For I am the temple of God and His Spirit abides within me.
1 Corinthians 3, an interpretation after the NKJV
I’ll be taking a well-deserved break over the next days – I hope to be back blogging sometime next week. I need to spend some down time to recharge my batteries – spiritual, physical, mental, and creative. Thank you for being patient with me and I hope to see you soon.
Until then, I will be snoozing with my kitties!