I am bereft –
Google says it’s an archaic term meaning “deprived of or missing something, usually non-material something”
It wasn’t until yesterday when I was able to identify the feeling – for days now I have been growing more downcast, more tired – tired to the point of exhaustion.
And today I realized I am bereft of the joy of living – not that I want to die – at least not yet, anyway – I am bereft of the joy of living everyday –
My days are mundane, dull, void of brightness.
I tell myself it is only exhaustion—
That I am tired –
I am overdue for a vacation and all be well after next week – I will have a week of freedom from the harness of work –
But I wonder, what happens if I am still feeling this way after my week off?
What if rest does me no good?
I know I am blessed – abundantly so –some folks never get time off but go from job to job with no break or vacation.
God has blessed me with much even though I’ve done nothing to deserve it.
It is through His grace and strength I get up each morning and go to work – even when I don’t feel like it or even want to.
But for now—
All I can write is –
I am bereft—
The above was written before my much needed break of the last few weeks.