I’m back at work after having a week (that’s 11 days including weekends and Thanksgiving!) free of the madness. No travel, just lots of rest, chilling out, regrouping and snuggling with the furbabies. A week free of stress helps me to love them again and not resent the daily round of feeding and scooping. But now that I’m back, it didn’t take long for me to succumb to the stress and anxiety. Vacation? What vacation? It’s all just a distant memory now and another one in the future to look forward to. And that really bugs me.

Loverboy (early 80’s rock band) sang the song “Working for the Weekend” about looking forward to the weekend romance that might occur.

One of my favorite shows was on the tube last week – Hoarding: Buried Alive – and it was focused on an older woman whose hoard was the usual ceiling-high mix of old food, clothes, trash, etc. She kept looking off wistfully in the distance, talking about the future and the happy times she would have with all her ‘treasures’.

My beloved grandmother used to say, “I can’t enjoy Sunday for thinking about Monday.”

What bugs me is that I tend to look to the future for the time when I am free of the shackles of today’s troubles. That could be considered hope and without hope the world would come crashing down.

But, perhaps I need to look a little closer to my now to be truly at peace. Peace and happiness and joy aren’t necessarily in the future. The future could be far worse than my present and where would that get me? Depressed and probably suicidal because I didn’t enjoy the time when I ‘had it so good’.

Why can’t I find joy and happiness and peace of mind Monday through Friday?
Why can’t I enjoy the things I have today, right now?
Why can’t I relish Sunday without even giving Monday a thought?

Maybe because I keep looking at my image in the mirror which magnifies the messiness of my life and all its woes. The thing about that mirror is if I move aside just a bit I also have a view of what was left behind and upon turning around, the mirror reflects what might be to come. Maybe I should just put the mirror down.

Jesus tells his disciples to think about the lilies growing around them. All they have to do is to grow and be beautiful, which is their nature. Those lilies are more glorious than the most important or famous or glamourous or beautiful person you can think of. They don’t work for beauty; they just are. He goes on to tell them that if God makes small, seemingly insignificant, flowers so beautiful today and faded tomorrow, how much more will He care for His children who have so little faith in Him? (Luke 12:27-28)

Why can’t I just be the beautiful child God made me? Oh, I can think of a million plus one reasons why not. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.

Try to live in the now,
in this present moment,
in this present job,
in this present relationship,
in this now.

And, perhaps, this is where God’s Grace comes into play. The moments between the madness where I can take a breath and savor a cup of sweet Grace before plunging back in.

And when I’m ready to breath again, God will be there, waiting with His Grace, fresh and sweet, to strengthen my resolve to live and enjoy the now.

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2 thoughts on “In Which I Look to the Future…too much

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