Comprehending Incomprehensible Pain

When I first heard of the recent tragedy in Las Vegas – so many killed and wounded – my first thought was of the shooter. It wasn’t thoughts of anger or sadness – it was simply ‘how deeply was this man injured that he would pour his grief out on innocent people’. Yes, I feel deeply for the victims; but I’m also feeling a measure of compassion for a man who, in his darkest hour, felt it necessary to hurt so many other people.

It is men (and women) like this shooter who are grievously wounded beyond the help of mankind who do the most mass damage in this world. Humans who have lost their humanity and respect for life because they have turned their backs on the God Who loves them, the God Who created them and the only One who can touch their pain and heal it.

It is hard to realize that God loves even those whom we consider to be most heinous, but love them He does. And what is even harder to realize and accept is that God wants us to love them as well – even with all their hatred and violence and blood lust. There, but for the Grace of God, go I.

Some may ask, ‘why did God do this terrible thing?’ or ‘why did God allow this indescribable suffering?’. But the hard fact is that God did not do this nor did He allow it. It happened because humankind allowed it, because man did this.

God gave His children free will and He will not violate the sanctity of that gift. Above all He desires our love and worship because we want to give it to him. Love without the freedom to love is not love but fear; and fear begets all manner of tragedy in our lives.

I write this not to diminish the suffering of the victims – theirs’ is an incomprehensible, deeply felt pain – one that only God will be able to fully heal. But, instead, I write this to offer hope in a scary world. Faith does not remove the pain from our lives; faith makes the pain bearable.

Whatever your belief is, Whomever your vision of God is, or even if you do not believe in God, know that He loves you beyond anything you can even begin to imagine. He waits patiently for you to turn your face to Him, reach out with your heart and ask for Him.

Jeremiah 29:13-14 – You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.  ‘I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD.

 

 

 

 

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emotional auto-pilot

And what are those ‘thoughts that lie too deep for tears’? And why are they only accessible to the Divine Touch?

When I react badly (negatively, painfully, sorrowfully), either internally or externally, to something someone else has said or done or even a past memory, and I’m not sure why I reacted that way, that reaction has its roots in some past event or memory that I’m not aware of. It is those thoughts – events, memories, action – that I react off of automatically. That deep inner pain triggers a response of fear, not Love. And anything that is not Love is fear and fear is not of God.

Those automatic reactions – like cursing the driver in front of me that is going too slow or cuts me off; like driving extra slow when I’m in front of another driver who wants to go faster than me or I don’t like the way they’re driving; like being impatient or sarcastic to someone who is impatient or sarcastic with me; mouthing off when someone cuts ahead of me in a line; plus many, many more – all these are automatic reactions that bubble up from somewhere deep within and out they come without me even thinking about it. One moment I’m pleasant, feeling the love and Presence of God and the next moment or ½ moment I’m reacting badly with no thought of the love God has for me. From Jekyll to Hyde in a nanosecond. And hating myself later for turning into the monster I feel I am but know deep in my spirit I’m not.

Thoughts that lie too deep for tears? How about pain that lies too deep for human touch. Pain and anguish that lies too deep for anyone but God.

God, in His infinite wisdom and love sees straight to the root – the cause of all pain and all fear deep within. And when I am willing to offer up that pain and fear to Him, He will heal it forever and I will be another step closer to Him.

Too Deep for Tears

But what about psychological or emotional pain? This type of pain is far worse than physical pain (at least in my experience). This pain travels with you wherever you go, never leaves you alone and the drugs you take to numb it not only exacerbate the pain but often cause problems in other areas of your life as well.

The emotional pain I have felt in the past resulted in my need to numb it by eating – which caused me to become obese, which lead to physical problems, which lead to other problems, and so on and so forth. Therapy helps heal psychic pain – the act of talking about your pain, facing the dragon, as it were, is key to the healing process.

But, in my experience, therapy won’t heal all the pain; there are some things that only the Divine Touch of God can heal.

To me the meanest flower that blows can give thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears. –William Wordsworth

Those thoughts –

that pain –

that lies too deep for tears –

so deep I might not even be aware of the pain –

pain that effects everything I think, say and do without me even knowing –

those thoughts,

those pains,

 

only God can touch,

only God can heal.

 

That is the spiritual healing I want;

that is the spiritual healing I am seeking

 

and that is the spiritual healing God wants to provide

if I but ask,

and be willing to receive.