So, as I said in the beginning of this journey through Angel’s Letters I have my own angel experiences. I have shared them before, but here they are again.
When I was about 5 or 6 we lived in Gainesville, Fla. Although I had plenty of friends one particular afternoon I was on my own – Mom was in the kitchen, Dad was at work and my sister was off with her friends. It was a warmish day so I crawled under the small brick house to get cool. I don’t remember how I got started but I ended up with some matches and started burning foam rubber under the house. I had no clue how dangerous it was – I just remember thinking how ‘neat’ it looked burning. Then I heard someone call my name – very clearly – I stopped what I was doing for a moment and listened. When I heard nothing, I kept on striking matches and burning the material. Then I heard my name, again, this time, louder and more firmly. I knew I was in trouble then. I put the matches out and ran inside to the kitchen asking mom what she wanted; she said she hadn’t called me. I told her yes, she had, because I had heard her. She said she hadn’t. I went back outside, sat on the back steps and wondered who it was that called my name.
This occurrence happened much later, when I was driving home as a young adult. I was sitting in my car at a stop light, waiting for the green. When the light turned green, I proceeded normally into the intersection to make a left hand turn. Suddenly my car stopped dead – it was if a giant hand stopped the car from going forward – a split second later another car ran a red light and flew past me at high speed. Had my car continued making the left turn, the speeding car would have plowed into me.
When I was in my early 30s I suffered through severe depression for several years. I was in counseling but it didn’t seem to do any good. One night I was home alone and I started falling deeper and deeper into what I called the Abyss – so deep that while I had always kept suicide in the back of my mind, it moved to the front. I started thinking of how I would do it. Knife? Meds? Hanging? Deeper and deeper I went – until I made up my mind to do it – it was the only way to release the pain I was going through. At that moment, the darkest moment of my life, the phone rang. I didn’t want to get it – but it rang and rang and rang. I finally got up and answered it. It was a friend who was particularly chatty that night and talked and talked and talked, eventually making me laugh. When I hung up the phone more than an hour later, I realized how close I had come to dying. And I thanked God for the friend who called me that night – for the friend who was an angel to me (although she didn’t know it) and reminded me I was Loved.