attracting too much negtive in my life…

People have a hard time letting go of their suffering.
Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.
Thich Nhat Hahn

Life is not always pleasant. Some of the time it just plain sucks. Sometimes when life is out of balance – more bad in it than good – I believe it’s time for a review: What am I doing to attract all this negative energy into my life? How can I change to attract/allow more positive energy into my life? Are there old, unresolved angers inside my heart? Is there bitterness, jealousy, or resentment toward others, toward God, toward myself? Do I really want more positive in my life or do I secretly enjoy being a martyr? Do I take pleasure in other people’s misery? Do I even think about other people or other creatures? Do I wish for their well-being or do I just not care? And finally, is there some pain and suffering I refuse to let go of?

While I have a deep and abiding faith in God, I do believe that I am the author of most of the misery in my life. Bad choices, old anger, envy, self-doubt, and other yukky things that dwell in my heart and head attract the negative to me. Some of these things will never go away – they are a part of being human – and as I acknowledge them, they have little power over me and I can work on them little by little so I don’t carry them with me to the grave.

But there are other things – like willingly hanging on to suffering because it is all I know – or all I think I know – and because I am afraid of what will happen to me if I stop hating this person or stop rehashing the thing that caused me so much grief and sorrow over and over again. When I choose to keep hating or rehashing I am inviting negative activity into my life. As life begets life so too does death beget death. The more I think it, the more I live it.

So I must choose to let go of those things that caused me pain and suffering in the past, and saying to myself as often as I need to: “By the Grace of God’s Love for me I am healed from that injury and I am working toward forgiveness for that person.”

No caveats, no ‘if’, ‘ands’ or ‘buts’, no reasoning allowed. Only faith in the One Who Loves me, Loves the other person (yes, the one who hurt me) as well and being human I am in no place to judge them.

I choose to let go of the pain in my life and let God be God in my life and in that other person’s life.

story dBefore I go…

I want to share with you a post from another blogger…and ask you to remember to pray for all of the family involved, yes, even for the family who did such an awful thing…

What is this world coming to?
We have friends staying with us for a few days and this morning at 1 am we ran out of toilet paper so oldest son stayed with the Bald Dude and friend and I went to Walmart.  It is the only place open at 1 am with toilet paper.

Pulled up front and parked, and sitting on a bench off to the right of the entrance was a very elderly lady, with a shopping cart with suit cases in it, and she had fallen asleep.

She was to old to be out by herself like that so we approached her, woke her up, and asked if she is ok.

She started to cry and said she had wet herself because no one would help her up to get to the bathroom.

I asked her where her family was-where she lived at.  She said Seattle, and they had come down to go to the ocean for vacation.

They had told her they were all going into Walmart McDonalds for lunch, and they got her suitcases out of the car, put them in a shopping cart, and sat her on the same bench she was still on, with the cart next to her.

She said she was confused by them getting her luggage out of the car, and when she asked they didn”t answer.

They told her they were going to park the car and they never came back.

I could”t believe someone had deliberately left her there there.

We tried to help her into the bathroom but she could”t stand.  

Friend stayed with her and I went inside Walmart and got a clerk.  Clerk called security who came out and helped her into the bathroom, and then called the police, who took her to the hospital until they could get ahold of family, or a placement for her.

I knew the woman who was working security and she said this was the fourth one this month-the 4th elderly parent abandoned at Walmart by their family.

The kids bring their elderly parent from out of town and leave them sitting on the bench out from with their luggage thinking someone will come along and take care of them.

She said it is sad and she is not sure what the circumstances are that make adult kids think they need to do this to their parent.

This breaks my heart.

From Sunsetdragon

follow Me

The only direct statement of Jesus which is simple enough for me to comprehend when my heart is breaking or when I’m discouraged or scared is: “Follow me.”
I cannot understand life because life is not understandable. But I can grasp: “Follow me.”
Eugenia Price, No Pat Answers

Even when my mistakes are my own, even when I screw up royally, even when what I have done is so stupid and I feel stupid and am pissed off at myself for what I did – even then, those words, “follow Me” are a comfort and a safe haven. To me, “follow me” means everything will work out, everything will be fine. Even as I go through the consequences of my actions or even, inaction, I know, I believe, I trust in a Benevolent God who will bring me through whatever crises I have caused.

“‘Follow Me’ into the darkest alley, to the brightest mountain top, to the lowest low, the highest high and everywhere in between and all will be well, all will be as it needs to be,” says my God to my weary heart. I am not a stupid person. I am not a failure. I am not a bad seed. I am not unlovable. God sees me as I truly am and what I have the potential to be. And yet, He loves me still.

“‘Follow Me’ into the safe haven of My Arms and we will work through this together,” says my God to my hurting head. My head does ache, my heart is weary, my body is tired from all the stupid things I have done. I am not ignorant. I am not lazy. My inner dragons tell me these things constantly and because I stop and listen to them those words seem to take on a life of their own and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But I am none of those things. Just because I have done something stupid doesn’t mean I am stupid.

“‘Follow Me’ and I will never allow you into places that you have not the strength to handle,” says my God to my sobbing soul. When I weep before His Throne and cry for mercy I am reminded Mercy has already been given and Grace is never-ending. I so have the strength to go on in spite of what snarl I am currently tangled up in.

“Follow Me,” the most beautiful and complicated and simple and pure words ever spoken by my Lord, Savior, and God. I will follow you, always.

when people are in great pain

Remember, when people are in great pain, they have a hard time hearing past their suffering.
They may need written words, or just a tiny card, to penetrate their suffering.
Joyce Landorf, Silent September

I fully understand Ms Landorf’s statement. I have experience such physical pain that it deafened all the noise around me and I was oblivious to anything but the pain. Gratefully I have not been subject long periods of such pain as Ms Landorf has suffered; nonetheless anyone who suffered through a day-long or multi-day long migraine can sympathize. In those cases the only escape I had was sleep. Medication didn’t touch the pain. Forget prayer – that required concentration I did not possess. Well meaning words from the uninformed or the inept just bounced off me, never heard, never received.

When I was in my 20s and 30s I suffered from frequent severe band-type migraines. They have lessened as I have grown older and now I only get the only slightly less painful cluster-type of migraine several times a month. But nothing beats the vice-like grip of pain around the head. If the pain hit me (literally hit me) when I was away from home I had to drop everything and go home, pull down the shades, and climb into a pillowless bed. Even my bed pillow could not be tolerated – too much physical pressure on my head. If I was lucky I fell asleep quickly and woke many hours later and, finally functional again, I could handle days of residual pain with grace.

But during the attacks, I could hear nothing, barely see anything and was unable to concentrate on the most minor thing – even my poor cats. The telephone went unanswered, the lights stayed off and my stomach went empty until the worst had passed. I am unable to imagine what it must be like to suffer such agony for days without end. But I can understand how the brain shuts off virtually all other sensations in order to process the pain.

So if you know someone who is in constant agony, writing them a note – the old fashioned kind – because texting or emailing requires concentration and reading a computer or phone screen can make pain worse – a note handwritten on paper is gentle, kind and a true shower of love. So go, write a note to someone in pain. They will love and appreciate you for it, even if they are unable to say ‘thank you’ right away. Because when you’re in pain, even talking can make it worse.

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