Is all well with my soul?

[Horatio] Spafford was one of many people—authors, pastors, poets—lined up across my timeline whose stories carried the scent of an alluring, an intimacy with God beyond circumstances. Each breathed a connection to a God who was foreign to me but resonated with something deep inside me. It was as if I were an adopted child meeting a biological sibling who introduced me to our Father for the first time. He was familiar, we were connected, yet I didn’t know Him like they did. I wanted to have the deep  parts of me find the deep parts of Him.   Pg 72

God comes in the mundane and shifts us, slightly and subtly. Suddenly and slowly, it is following Him in the unseen that feels most normal.  Pg 73  Every Bitter Thing is Sweet by Sara Hagerty


What is this hunger God has stirred in me? Is it to be free from doubt, from fear, from distrust of Him Who Created me?  Yes, it is all that and more – much, much more. This is a hunger, a desire, that goes so deep into my being that I weep for the pain of it, for the loneliness of it, for the overwhelming nature of it. It is a hunger I am only beginning to understand is God-created and therefore the only thing that will satiate it is God.

Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak; O Lord; heal me; for my bones are vexed.
My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O Lord, how long? …
I am weary with my groaning; all the night I make my bed to swim; I water my couch  with my tears.
Psalm 6:2, 3, 6 – KJV


Worry and the Timeless One

God made time. For Him, it is a “very little thing” to add an hour to our lives. He’s just not subject to the same temporal constraints that so yoke and choke us. For God, a day is as a thousand years, or a thousand years is as a day. No big deal.

If we are really connected with this One who lives beyond time, we have a real choice in how we live in it. We can focus on the worries, burdens, and fears of our own limited experience and miss the joy that could be ours . . . or we can take the risk, venture out, and truly believe that God is the master. He is not like us. He is absolutely sovereign over time and eternity. ~~ Ellen Vaughn, Time Peace

 031216 master of time

If I worship the One who Created time then why do I worry so much about it? Why do I worry about the future, or even today? Worry seems to be part and parcel to human existence. If I’m not worried about my health, its money or my job or my cats or my family or . . . the list goes on. We all have our own worry lists.

What would my life be like if I didn’t worry? If I were able to truly lay down those worries at the feet of God and walk away? How much happier, more joy-filled, more peaceful would I be? Would I even be able to do it? Or, will I do like I’ve always done, lay them down and give them over to God only to pick the worries back up when I get up?

I don’t even know if I know how to lay down my worries – they are so much a part of me maybe I’m afraid that if I lay them down I won’t be me anymore, that I won’t recognize who I am and maybe, maybe,  I really don’t want to stop worrying. Maybe its because I think I can figure things out for myself and secretly I think I don’t need God.

I think – no – I know – I am wrong. I do need God. Now more than ever.

And the struggle goes on…

The End of Days?

illustration credit:

I have just finished a novel, the second dystopian book in a row and it has bummed me out. The first book was the destruction of the world through nuclear bombs. The second one was a man made virus that swept the globe and wiped out 99.9% of all mankind within a month or so. The very sad thing is that both of those scenarios are plausible. It could happen in my lifetime. It could happen in my nephew’s lifetime. Or it could not happen at all.

The thing that struck me the hardest was both scenarios are man-made. And it makes me wonder a couple of things.

  1. Why would God, in His Infinite Power and Wisdom, create such a contentious being as humans?
  2. How can He stand by and let us destroy ourselves in the – I can think of no adjective strong enough to go here – way that we do?
  3. Mankind has the smarts to do all sorts of wildly creative things. The question is not “can we?” but is “should we?”
  4. And finally, that while the first two questions will never fully be answered this side of His Presence, what I am sure of is that without God, without His moral and spiritual compass guiding us to True North, we will surely go down the path of self destruction in a heartbreakingly spectacular way.

The next book I am reading is a spiritually inspirational book. I need my own moral/spiritual compass reset back to True North.