how do i view my life?

We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number,
but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing:
the last of his freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.
Viktor R. Frankl

Sometimes I complain bitterly about my life; about how life is unfair and hard; about the path God has set me on and how hard it is; sometimes I just want to say “chuck it all, I’m gonna do my own thing.” 

Then I remember that doing my own thing is what got me to where I am right now. Speaking of bitter, that is a bitter pill to swallow. I don’t want to accept that my life is the cesspool that it is because I made it so. All those bad choices, all those bad decisions, I want to blame on God because He is the most convenient target, for me at least. Or, maybe I could be like my fellow bitter companions and blame everyone else – my boss, my spouse, my kids, my job, the stranger in the car in front of me, my neighbor who won’t mow her lawn or – for goodness sakes! – stop her dog from barking at all hours of the day and night. All of these things that make my life suck are not my fault.

Really? Really? Can I not find some blame in all of my life for my life? Am I not woman enough or human enough or spiritual enough to accept the responsibility for my life?

I can choose to shuck responsibility and become an embittered old woman.

Or, I can choose to take responsibility and change who I am by looking within at me and at God. God is as much in me as He is outside of me and only through His Wisdom and Guidance can I change. But, only if I am willing.

I can’t change the world. But I can change me and my view of it.